Where a Profession Decides our Fate

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We have stepped into the 21st century, but unfortunately haven’t been able to change our mindsets. Why did I just say that?

Recently, I got the chance to meet a mother of 4 girls with the eldest being 14 years old, upon questioning that what future plans she had for them she said, “Obviously they are all going to be doctors. Matric, Fsc and straight to the medical college.” I was simply referring to school choices but her answer startled me.

It’s just another experience, apart from mine, that I just quoted. Even before I got into school, I heard this one sentence over and over again: “Bari ho k doctor banay gee”. And whenever anyone used to ask me that what you want to become in future, my answer used to be; I’ll be a doctor of course.

With the passage of time, I discovered that I’m not that medical-type student. My interests were completely different. I wanted to be anything but not a doctor at least. Anyhow, I was forced to take biology in my A-Levels and then went through the awful MCAT thing as well. I deliberately failed that exam. Yes! I really did that. I had no other choice and I’m very happy with what I’m doing now.

And then I was given the choice to go to some other university and the choice was obviously mine. It’s been three years now but my parents still feel sorry for me and make me feel that I have no future as I’m not studying medicine. And if they find a relative who just got into medical college, their first remark is: “Dekh lena boohat agay jaye gii tm se”
I thought, only my parents were the ones to think like that, but no! Every other Pakistani parent has the same backward thinking. Sorry about that. It’s harsh but true. I was confused. Why everyone wants their daughters to be doctors. Upon a bit was questioning it was reveled that: “Rishta acha mil jata hai”

You want your daughters to go through the trauma of studying medicine just to get them in-laws who are going to put their degrees and away and want their daughter-in-laws to be a perfect house wife.Not only this, guy’s parents are also looking for a doctor bahu which laters on gives up on practicing to produce healthy sturdy sons and attend kitty parties. It is the basic criteria for guy’s family on a rishta-hunt. Sad.

If that is the end result, then why force your daughters to study day and night, sacrifice their social lives and what not. What is the point of educating a girl with a degree you know she is not going to use? Why are you setting her up to study and survive in a competitive environment, where she is going to have to study for four years for things she’s probably not going to remember if she doesn’t keep studying for another 10 years?

Don’t make your daughters doctors just because you need to tell other people that your medical-degree-holder daughter’s greatest achievement is finding the best catch in your sight. Give them an education they can use even from home. Empower them to shoulder the responsibility of a citizen in society and raise a family.

Wardha Nadeem Chaudhry-Pursuing a Marketing and Media degree at Lahore School of Economics. Content writer. Typical Lahori with love for food.

Wardha Nadeem Chaudhry-Pursuing a Marketing and Media degree at Lahore School of Economics. Content writer. Typical Lahori with love for food.


38 thoughts on “Where a Profession Decides our Fate

  1. Qurat Ul Ain says:

    A well written and insightful write-up. We surely need to create more awareness about different proffesions that females can pursue with success.


  2. hassannaseem says:

    A very well written article, Wardha. I’m glad you chose to be not one of those who choose a profession just because of social pressure. Our society will change if females take steps like you did 🙂


  3. A bitter reality of our society . Being a part of the same field. … I ve seen people around me , specially girls, who actually have just got into medicine to get better rishtas xp Having seen all the stress and commitment this profession brings along with it, I seriously cannot imagine how people can dump in all the hard work done all these years and choose a meaningless life over it so easily. A very well written piece Wardha. An issue very well brought up. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. nayabitrat says:

    You have touched this topic beautifully. I’ll like to add that such girls deprive a male’s seat too who eventually has to be the bread winner for his family. This is unfair to them aswell.


  5. This is a profound short extract that highlights the mentality of the Pakistani society with all its flaws and superstitions that still pertain to norms and customs , instead of individual contentment .
    “Good education Is attained to get a good rista ” and the girl’s only prospect I.e “to get married and have childen”,seems utterly absurd in the “globalised” 21st century.
    The above writer has made a brave attempt to highlight some of the ignorant prevalences in Pakistan, that actually promote Patriarchy in the long run.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. sad but true. We live in a society where girls have to face a trauma like this. This article is beautifully written and makes us think twice the hardships a girl faces in our society. The author have composed the article so well that the reader feels the pain and have realization of the wrong doings. It beautifuuly highlights the issue and hence is a must read !!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Very well-written. This issue needs to be addressed on a larger scale. We need to widen our narrow scope of reality and initiate programs that would encourage our youth to pursue their dreams.


  8. Amna Ejaz says:

    Such an impressive piece of writing. Truly inspirational and a lesson for all those parents out there who burden their children with such wishes… Great work (y)


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