We have stepped into the 21st century, but unfortunately haven’t been able to change our mindsets. Why did I just say that?
Recently, I got the chance to meet a mother of 4 girls with the eldest being 14 years old, upon questioning that what future plans she had for them she said, “Obviously they are all going to be doctors. Matric, Fsc and straight to the medical college.” I was simply referring to school choices but her answer startled me.
It’s just another experience, apart from mine, that I just quoted. Even before I got into school, I heard this one sentence over and over again: “Bari ho k doctor banay gee”. And whenever anyone used to ask me that what you want to become in future, my answer used to be; I’ll be a doctor of course.
With the passage of time, I discovered that I’m not that medical-type student. My interests were completely different. I wanted to be anything but not a doctor at least. Anyhow, I was forced to take biology in my A-Levels and then went through the awful MCAT thing as well. I deliberately failed that exam. Yes! I really did that. I had no other choice and I’m very happy with what I’m doing now.
And then I was given the choice to go to some other university and the choice was obviously mine. It’s been three years now but my parents still feel sorry for me and make me feel that I have no future as I’m not studying medicine. And if they find a relative who just got into medical college, their first remark is: “Dekh lena boohat agay jaye gii tm se”
I thought, only my parents were the ones to think like that, but no! Every other Pakistani parent has the same backward thinking. Sorry about that. It’s harsh but true. I was confused. Why everyone wants their daughters to be doctors. Upon a bit was questioning it was reveled that: “Rishta acha mil jata hai”
You want your daughters to go through the trauma of studying medicine just to get them in-laws who are going to put their degrees and away and want their daughter-in-laws to be a perfect house wife.Not only this, guy’s parents are also looking for a doctor bahu which laters on gives up on practicing to produce healthy sturdy sons and attend kitty parties. It is the basic criteria for guy’s family on a rishta-hunt. Sad.
If that is the end result, then why force your daughters to study day and night, sacrifice their social lives and what not. What is the point of educating a girl with a degree you know she is not going to use? Why are you setting her up to study and survive in a competitive environment, where she is going to have to study for four years for things she’s probably not going to remember if she doesn’t keep studying for another 10 years?
Don’t make your daughters doctors just because you need to tell other people that your medical-degree-holder daughter’s greatest achievement is finding the best catch in your sight. Give them an education they can use even from home. Empower them to shoulder the responsibility of a citizen in society and raise a family.